Tag Archives: dedication

“After this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.”

Thinking back to when I first started talking to Master and then getting to know him, I thought I knew what being in a Master/slave relationship was all about. I had been there before with someone else a few years before I met Master. I thought I knew what being in this type of dynamic was all about. I know now that I was very naive back then. I had so much to learn about myself and what M/s was “really” all about.  Living it on a daily basis (meaning living with Master) was a reality shock for me. It was much different from what I had experienced before. It took some getting used to. There were times that I just sat down and wondered to myself, is this really for me, or can I do this, and maybe I don’t want to do this. It was by trial and error that Master and I found out what worked for and what didn’t. It has been quiet a journey.

I didn’t fully grasp all the implications that my relationship would manifest upon me. I didn’t really understand how far down the rabbit hole as they say I would go. But, I am there, I am all the way down in the rabbit hole. There was this one night a few years back, when Master and I were laying in the bed and he wrapped his arms around me and told me that he owned me. “Owned Me,” I thought to myself. Then as I laid there feeling very secure in his arms, I realized that he did. I finally knew what it was like to be owned. I had read about other slaves being owned and read about what it was like for them. Now, I knew. And to think someone wanted me enough to own me.

I have always been submissive in all my relationships. Heck, even in my friendships with other females I was always the “people pleaser.” But, I never saw myself giving my whole being over to another. I mean giving someone total control over my whole life, over me. It felt nice, it felt warm, if that makes sense. For me it was like coming over to the other side. Venturing over to who I really was all along. Master encompasses my whole being. His needs, wants, happiness all come first. If he is not happy, neither am I . I strive to make myself better because of him. I feel better about myself because of him. Knowing that my place is at his feet and in his heart is the best feeling that I could ever have. That’s not to say that there aren’t days that I look back and say to myself, “what the hell were you thinking.” There are many of those days. They come and then they go. 

Being in a O/p relationship takes a strong person. A person who knows who they are inside and out. And it takes dedication and devotion. Surrendering yourself over to someone is not an easy thing. But, something that I did gladly and without hesitation. Because of Master I am the girl, the slave, the property, the mother, the daughter and all the other things I am today. 

There were times in the beginning of our relationship and as it went on that I questioned myself if we were right for each other. There were some issues that we had to work out. They were hard issues for me, things I had to get used to. Things I had to be willing to accept if we were going to work. It has been five years and for the most part I have accepted those things. Every now and then I look back and I wonder if I should have compromised on those things, but I am here and I like where I am. I love who we are together. I worship Master.

Now, when I think about our relationship or our dynamic, I see things so differently. I know that we are Master and slave, but we are more of O/p, Owner and property. to me, it is so much more than M/s. It’s deeper, more rich. I know we have a long journey ahead of us and I have so much more to experience and learn. Submitting to Master in every way and making his life easier and peaceful is what I strive for daily. He encompasses me always. Knowing that the control is in hands, knowing he makes the rules, and knowing that he gives my life structure, is comforting. He is the leader of “US.”

I AM OWNED, I AM HIS!

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Worshiping Master

I was having a hard time coming up with a topic today, so I asked Master what he would like me to write about. He suggested that write about what goes on in my head during my worship time. First let me explain exactly I mean when I say “worship time.” This is a time that I dedicate to Master. He could be watching television or on the computer or even in the bed. I kneel in front of him, lean forward with my chest on the floor and my arms stretched out in front of me pointing towards Master. I use this time like a meditation time. I think about all the ways that I can improve my service to Master or ways to improve myself to be better for Master. I reflect on how much I love him and how much I love serving him. This time means a lot to the both of us. It shows Master how dedicated I am to him and how much I love him.  He usually has me do this two or three times a week. It keeps in a slave mind-set and grounds me and brings back to who I am if I am having an off day.

There are times I can go into a deep meditation when I am worshiping. Then there are times that I fantasize about how I wish things were or how they could be. Often I have pictured Master with another girl in the bed and I am tied to chair made to watch them. I also envision how things would be if Master had another submissive or slave here with us. 

I believe that this worship time over the years has brought us closer as Master & slave.