Tag Archives: devotion

“After this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.”

Thinking back to when I first started talking to Master and then getting to know him, I thought I knew what being in a Master/slave relationship was all about. I had been there before with someone else a few years before I met Master. I thought I knew what being in this type of dynamic was all about. I know now that I was very naive back then. I had so much to learn about myself and what M/s was “really” all about.  Living it on a daily basis (meaning living with Master) was a reality shock for me. It was much different from what I had experienced before. It took some getting used to. There were times that I just sat down and wondered to myself, is this really for me, or can I do this, and maybe I don’t want to do this. It was by trial and error that Master and I found out what worked for and what didn’t. It has been quiet a journey.

I didn’t fully grasp all the implications that my relationship would manifest upon me. I didn’t really understand how far down the rabbit hole as they say I would go. But, I am there, I am all the way down in the rabbit hole. There was this one night a few years back, when Master and I were laying in the bed and he wrapped his arms around me and told me that he owned me. “Owned Me,” I thought to myself. Then as I laid there feeling very secure in his arms, I realized that he did. I finally knew what it was like to be owned. I had read about other slaves being owned and read about what it was like for them. Now, I knew. And to think someone wanted me enough to own me.

I have always been submissive in all my relationships. Heck, even in my friendships with other females I was always the “people pleaser.” But, I never saw myself giving my whole being over to another. I mean giving someone total control over my whole life, over me. It felt nice, it felt warm, if that makes sense. For me it was like coming over to the other side. Venturing over to who I really was all along. Master encompasses my whole being. His needs, wants, happiness all come first. If he is not happy, neither am I . I strive to make myself better because of him. I feel better about myself because of him. Knowing that my place is at his feet and in his heart is the best feeling that I could ever have. That’s not to say that there aren’t days that I look back and say to myself, “what the hell were you thinking.” There are many of those days. They come and then they go. 

Being in a O/p relationship takes a strong person. A person who knows who they are inside and out. And it takes dedication and devotion. Surrendering yourself over to someone is not an easy thing. But, something that I did gladly and without hesitation. Because of Master I am the girl, the slave, the property, the mother, the daughter and all the other things I am today. 

There were times in the beginning of our relationship and as it went on that I questioned myself if we were right for each other. There were some issues that we had to work out. They were hard issues for me, things I had to get used to. Things I had to be willing to accept if we were going to work. It has been five years and for the most part I have accepted those things. Every now and then I look back and I wonder if I should have compromised on those things, but I am here and I like where I am. I love who we are together. I worship Master.

Now, when I think about our relationship or our dynamic, I see things so differently. I know that we are Master and slave, but we are more of O/p, Owner and property. to me, it is so much more than M/s. It’s deeper, more rich. I know we have a long journey ahead of us and I have so much more to experience and learn. Submitting to Master in every way and making his life easier and peaceful is what I strive for daily. He encompasses me always. Knowing that the control is in hands, knowing he makes the rules, and knowing that he gives my life structure, is comforting. He is the leader of “US.”

I AM OWNED, I AM HIS!

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Markings

   

Being the masochist that I am, I love to feel many different types of implements on my body. For me, its a way to let stress out or just the need to feel the pain. I can’t explain that need, but it is something that has been a part of me for a very long time. I also like to think that when I am receiving the pain, I am taking the strokes for my Master. Over the years the more he has given, the more I have taken. I trust him to know where he can take me. The sting, the burn, the hurt, it’s such a wonderful feeling for me.

Recently, I have had the desire to go a little further. I want to know just how much I can with stand. I want to know just how far Master will go and much Master is willing to give. I want to wear his deep marks. I want to know what it feels like to be brought to the edge of no return with him and have the bruises and markings to show for it. Master has never had that kind of session with me. Maybe one day I will know what that is like. I yearn for his markings on my body, to take that pain for him. To submit to him in that way I would imagine would be magical. 


Master’s Frustration…My Pleasure

This morning Master ended up not having such a good morning. It just seemed like nothing he was trying to do work wise was working out and then some other things were going wrong. It was just one of those mornings. He went outside for awhile to clear his mind. When he came back in, he told me to meet him in the bedroom. I was quite confused. But, I did as I was told and I went to the bedroom. Once he got to the bedroom he looked at me and told me to lay across the bed and present him my ass. So…I did. He told me he needed to take out some frustration and he just needed me to lie there and take it. No moving around, no complaining, just serve him by saying thank you Master after each stroke. Now you have to realize that we haven’t played or done a scene in FOREVER and I have needed a release for a long time. So, I didn’t hesitate. Although, I did feel that I was serving him by just letting him do what he needed to do to. I will serve him in any way that he needs me to or wants me to. I am here to bring him peace. But, at the same time I am so smiling on the inside!

First came the belt for a warm up, then the dreaded cane. I loved every minute of it and did not want it to end. I hope I have made Master feel some what better or at least served him in a way that my devotion showed.