Tag Archives: love

Master

Sometimes it amazes me how much Master loves and cares for me. He has gone through so much with me and has never left my side. He takes care of me when I need taking care of. These past few days have been really hard and he just smiles at me and tells me how much he loves me. I really am a lucky girl to be able to call him my Master.

I actually really do worship him and everything about him. I still get that giddy feeling every time I look at him and every time he touches me. I love the way he uses me , I love the kind of control he has over him. I tell him he is swierce  (sweet & fierce all at the same time). I am in awe of him…I love him,  I am glad that I belong to him.

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Wishing, Hoping, And Waiting

I have been thinking a lot lately about being collared by Master. I feel myself yearning for it. We have lived together for 5 years now. To me it feels like it has been enough time. I know its going to happen, but lately I have just been really thinking about it. I can’t wait to feel his collar around my neck and feel the weight of it every day. I can only imagine what it must feel like. I read blogs and read threads and posts on FL where slaves talk about their collars and what it means to them and how it feels. I want to experience that. 

I know in another blog post of mine awhile back I talked about the meaning of a collar for both Master and I. It is something that we do not take lightly and means a great deal to the both of us. I just want the time to come. I feel like I am being selfish and I don’t like feeling that way. I am trying to keep in mind that it is going to happen one day and just keep my focus there. The anticipation is just killing me. I am content in knowing that I belong to him and that what we have is wonderful I just want to take it to the next step. I am ready!


Friendship

I am not one to make a lot of friends. The friends that I make I hold close and dear to my heart. It’s hard for me to get close to people. For a long time I had issues with people coming and going in my life, so it was easy for me to keep people at a distance. I am really trying hard to not do that anymore.  But, its hard sometimes.

Master and I had been together for about a year and I met a really wonderful person. We clicked and really got each other. We talked every day and even though we lived nearly two hours apart  we made sure to visit each other often. We helped each other in so many ways. I think she helped me more.

She was in her own journey in this lifestyle. She is a slave and searching for a Master, but also searching for her soul mate. She soon found him…I didn’t like him. But, for a long time I kept that to myself for a while. I knew she would come to me and ask. She went through heartache and pain. I was there for her every step of the way. I too shared my troubles with Master, because it’s not always easy. She was my sounding board. I didn’t understand why she didn’t him or end things with him. I tried to like him, I really did. It just wasn’t working.  But, I continued to support her decisions.

In the mean time, I had some health issues and had to have  a couple of surgeries. Some how during my recovery our phone calls slowed and eventually there were none. I was in so much pain and it was so hard for me to get through each day, I could barely stand or walk after my surgery. I had to get myself healed and she didn’t call, not even to check on me. A year went by. I missed her, I needed her, I still loved her. So, I reached out. I made the call. So much had happened, I couldn’t believe it. She had gotten married, she was pregnant and she said things were good. I was happy for her. She had wanted a baby for so long and she thought she would never be able to have a child. We talked liked we had never been apart. We promised each other that distance would never happen again. We didn’t even blame one another, we knew it was both of us. We picked right up.

Things for her got worse and her relationship with her Master was suffering. I didn’t say I told you so, I was just there for her. When she went into this relationship she knew how he was and she knew the things he liked and what he wanted. She thought that she could accept this, she couldn’t.  It was really hard for her. She was so sad all the time. I did what I could.

She had her baby, I wasn’t invited to meet her. She kept saying when things got better with her and her Master. I bought her things and I sent them to her. We talked for while. I tried calling, I tried texting and emailing…no response. We have drifted again. I miss her, I still love her, she is still my friend…but she too has left me like other people in my life.

Why is having friends so hard? Why is letting people into your life so easy and so hard at the same time?

I hope I can do it again, I hope it won’t hurt like before. Maybe staying distant is the answer…I hope not.


Inspired from a ramble….

I have always put Master’s needs before my own. When he is happy, I am happy. My service to him comes before anything else. Today, I was inspired to think back to the beginning of our relationship. We knew that we wanted to be together. I knew with all of my heart that I wanted to serve him and be at his feet. There was an obstacle though…it was me. I had walls and I had fear. I had to over come these things before I could even begin to be his slave, before I could even be in a relationship. Master knew that he would have to put my needs first and help me through this time, so that we could thrive.

He held my hand and led me through this rough patch. Along with his dominate force (that was very much-needed) I made it. It wasn’t easy, but he made it easier. He put me before him and for that I will always be grateful. Down came my walls, my fear drifted away and slowly but surely, I surrendered all of me.

He did it again a few years into our relationship when I had to a couple of surgeries. He took care of me and nursed me back to health. He made sure that I was taken care for, so that I could take better care of him. My needs came before his once again. His love for me shows no boundaries. 

I am forever Master’s slave and forever I will kneel at his feet. I know that I am wanted and loved. I will always put his needs before mine. But, when and if our relationship needs it, I know he will do the same for me.


A heart to heart

Sometimes you just need to clear the air. There has been something that has really been bothering me. And its a subject that Master just does not like to talk to talk about. In fact he gets down right mad when I try to talk to him about this. Well, I felt the need this morning to just have a heart to heart with him. I could not hold this in any longer. For the first time in a very long time we argued and he got very upset. I over stepped by bounds and told him I just wanted to out. That I could not go on like this any longer. We both started crying and he knows that he has been hurting me for a long time. Really since we have been together. I have been needing something from him, that he hasn’t been to give me. It’s not his fault, it’s really neither of our faults. It just is. We both realized that falling in love and letting each other get this attached was probably not a good thing. It felt good to clear the air. This has been stuck between us for nearly five years. 

After we both had time to cool down and think about things, Master came to me and said that he wanted to try to  make it right and that he did not want to be without me. I don’t want to be without him either, but I am not sure that trying is going to fix this. I guess time will tell. It just hurts and I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to be happy, I want to know what it feels like to be happy again. I love him with all that I am, so I have to see if he can make it right…for us.


Relationships

I have been thinking today. It takes so much effort in any kind of relationship to keep it going. It takes respect and understanding from both people. In this lifestyle is it harder to keep the relationship going? If the submissive is showing all the respect and not getting any back, will it work? Is it worth the effort to keep it going? 

I think when two people are thinking about entering into a relationship they need to think think about things that they both want. They need to make sure that are compatible in all areas. If you start a relationship and get deep into it then realize that you don’t fit together like you thought you did, it might be harder to end things than in the beginning or harder to end than starting at all. 

Just because we are submissive’s or slave’s, doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be heard. We are human and we have feelings. Respect and trust matters to us just as much as it does to anyone else. 

My best friend is going through a really tough time and she is hurting.  I really want to do something to help her, but all I can do is be here for her. I support her in what ever she decides. I just wish her Master and husband could see what he is doing. He thinks because he is her Master that all else just goes his way. He doesn’t care about her feelings and he doesn’t care what she is going through. He just wants to see numerous of women and she has to be okay with it. Now they have a baby and he isn’t changing one bit, nor is he willing to give up any of his ways. I hurt for her. My life hasn’t been what I want it to be, but I have made a decision to live with the way it is for now. But, I can change that if I get to that point. It’s harder for her, she has a baby now and she feels so alone, even with her Master there. She has now asked for a release and he has granted it. I feel so sad. I know she will be just fine. She is a very strong woman and she has so many wonderful things about her. I just wish things were different. 

Regardless, I love her and I will never leave her side!