I cannot begin to to express how ecstatic I am at this moment. its going to take some getting used to.
It has been a long time coming. Master and I have been together for almost 6 years now. He could have done this when w first got together or even shortly after. But, that is not him, nor is it me. It had to be right, we both had to be sure, I needed to be enslaved by him mind, body and soul.
When we first got together we knew we were so right for each other. We thought a like, we wanted the same things out of life, it just felt right with him.
He makes me laugh and we can just be together in the same room or side by side and not say anything. We are good together. It hasn’t always been easy. We have been through some hard times. There were times when I questioned if this was really for me or was he really the one for me. I am so glad we made though all that. Sometimes you just have to take a step backwards to be able to forwards.
His dominance is just there. It shows just by looking at him. I am in awe of him ever day. I love and worship him more than I ever thought I would or could. My place is at his feet and for me that is the best place in the world to be. He has taught me so many things and has given me the life that I always wanted. A life where I could be who I was and I who I was meant to be.
I believe that the people in our lives come to us for a reason. Even if its for a short period of time or a life time. There is a reason for their presence. Master came into my life at a time when I needed a savior. Someone to help me through one of the toughest parts of my life. And he did just that. He taught me how to trust again and to let my walls down. He made me pull up my boot straps and carry on and trudge through those hard times. And he continues to do that for me. He has loved my girls like they were his own. He has given them guidance and love over these past years. That has meant the world to me and to them.
I am looking forward to the many years to come with Master. I am his slave and property. I am proud to call myself his. But, now I am his collared slave. It has finally happened. I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now.
Things here at home have a little chaotic for the past week or so. My mind has been in a hundred different places. Last night Master let me know that my soul focus is on him. Even though I have things to do and take care of, he thinks my focus has shifted and it doesn’t sit well with him. I guess you could say that he yanked on my leash a little last night. And it actually felt good to be put back into my place. A little reminder of what my first priority should be.
I don’t do this often, get off track on what my focus should be. But, with my daughter having come home and wanting to spend lots of time with her and shopping for Christmas, and wanting to do my crafts…I just got off track. But, when it does happen Master is very good about reigning me back in and setting me straight. Sometimes that might include just a few words, to yanking the leash (so to speak), or it could entail a little physical reminder. I just know that I feel like a disappointment when this happens, but it is good to be reminded.
Late last night, we heard gun shots coming from the woods that are behind us. Directly though the woods are houses. We do hear gun shots every do often during the day sometimes, but never late at night. It worried both Master and I. Master walks into his office space, which is right off of the living room and gets his shot-gun, makes sure that its loaded, bundles up and goes outside. Now, I don’t know why, but when he gets in protective mode and grabs his gun it just a wonderful feeling I get. I swoon at the thought of him protecting his property.
He was out there for a long time. I thought about going out to find him. But, he eventually came back in and didn’t find anything suspicious and the neighbors were fine. I thanked him for being my protector and that I felt so safe with him. Let me tell you, it made for some very hot sex last night and a wonderful morning with me waking up to Master on top me forcing his cock into my mouth. Maybe I should go find who ever was shooting last night and ask them to do that more often. 🙂
There has been a lot of talk about internal enslavement lately on one of the sites I am on. And it got me to thinking about how that worked for us in the beginning. So, I thought I would share my thoughts on this.
When I first began talking to Master, it was like he knew how to talk to me. He learned all that he could about me and then used that knowledge to reel me in so to speak. He helped me though a very difficult time in life and he broke down walls that I needed to get rid of. It was a long process, but he didn’t mind. He slowly got my way of thinking in alignment with his. My thought process was changing and the way I did things was the way he wanted them done. It’s funny, because I never really realized that it happening. He did though.
When we moved in together it was hard for me to adapt to that, because I lived by myself for so long that I was accustomed to my way of life. That changed immediately. My life was now consumed with him. He was consumed also by making me into what he wanted me to be for him. I was always a work in progress. He was molding me and teaching me and guiding me. I was already his slave, but he was changing me for him so that he could own me, own everything about me. I learned that his choices and decisions were for my benefit. He knew what was right and what was wrong for me. It was a process, it still goes on til this day. I am at his will, I am aligned with his thoughts and what he needs from me. He wore me down and then built me up again. It’s all about his control and my obedience and making him happy. I am internally enslaved to him. It’s a wonderful place to be!
I love rainy days when Master is home and we can just have a day to ourselves inside. I love the time that this gives us. Yes, there are still every day things that have to be done, but it gives us more quality time together. I just love these kind of days.
More later today……
I have been thinking a lot lately about being collared by Master. I feel myself yearning for it. We have lived together for 5 years now. To me it feels like it has been enough time. I know its going to happen, but lately I have just been really thinking about it. I can’t wait to feel his collar around my neck and feel the weight of it every day. I can only imagine what it must feel like. I read blogs and read threads and posts on FL where slaves talk about their collars and what it means to them and how it feels. I want to experience that.
I know in another blog post of mine awhile back I talked about the meaning of a collar for both Master and I. It is something that we do not take lightly and means a great deal to the both of us. I just want the time to come. I feel like I am being selfish and I don’t like feeling that way. I am trying to keep in mind that it is going to happen one day and just keep my focus there. The anticipation is just killing me. I am content in knowing that I belong to him and that what we have is wonderful I just want to take it to the next step. I am ready!
For a really long time I have wanted to talk to Master about objectification. It is something that I have thought about,pondered about and wanted to see how it would work with us. I just kind of thought that since we really didn’t talk about it in the beginning that it was something that Master wasn’t into. Well…was I wrong!
A friend of mine talked about how her Master uses her in one of her blogs. It gave me an idea. I read the blog to him and started a conversation. He said he had always been into it, but that he thought I would have a problem with it and didn’t want to push that with me. He has always pushed me in directions that I would never dream of and he knows how to do it carefully. I have always been obedient to everything that he tells me. Anyway, he was surprised that I wanted to explore that area. I told him I had always wanted to. So, last night I became Master’s footstool during his favorite Monday night tv show. Then I became his table for his late night snack. during this time I did some thinking on how I felt about being used in this manner. It was new and surprisingly it felt good.
We had a conversation when we went to bed. Master says that he is going to come up with a few new ways to use me and that we will delve into this slowly. I am anxious and a little nervous at the same time. I am just glad that we were able to talk about this and that we can add new things to our relationship. And also, he really likes the new furniture addition.