I am more than just his slave, he owns me. My life revolves around his needs, wants and desires. Master controls every aspect of my life. Ownership is very real for us. I am his owned property. I do not get tell him what I am going to do. I do not get to change how things work around here. From the very beginning I knew how it would work. I agreed to his terms completely.
There are those that would argue that one individual cannot own another. I disagree with that. At least in our case. When I became Master’s slave, I gave up the life that I once knew. I handed my life over to him. My money goes into his account, he makes all decisions for me, he controls all that I do, my opinions are given only when asked for, and my obedience is the key thing. I never question his motives or how he wants things done or how he wants us to live. My life is his. I am his to do with as he sees fit.
Owned is what I am!
There has been a lot of talk on a slave being able to leave the relationship. What I absolutely don’t like to hear, is someone else telling others how they can live their lives and what is legal and not legal and what they can or cannot do. The only person who can tell me if I can leave is my Master. He is the only one that can tell me what I can or cannot do. I wanted to write about how it is for me and what my reality actually is.
I wanted to make sure I really knew the man I was getting involved with. We took the time to find out about each other and explore everything there was to know. I became in awe of this man that was becoming more and more apart of my life. He was getting inside my head. There wasn’t a minute of the day that I didn’t think about him. When the time came and we actually talked about me becoming his slave he laid everything out. He told me what he expected and wanted from a M/s relationship and from me. He made it perfectly clear that he would have it no other way but his. It was his terms….not mine. I could accept all of this or walk away at that point. There would be no negotiating or saying, “well I want it this way, or could it be this way.” If I wanted to be with him, it was all or nothing.
One of the terms was that if at any point I wanted out, I needed to tell him and we would talk about it and try to work things out first. He said things can be fixed if they are worth fixing. Then, after that I still wanted out of the relationship I needed to come to him and ask him for my release. But, I had to understand that if he let me go, there would be no chance in hell of ever coming back to him. Along with that he would decide if I took anything with me. Even the things I brought into the relationship, because they would all belong to him at that point. On the other hand, if he told me I wasn’t leaving then I go no where. And, that would be how things would work. Then we talked about collaring. If and when that ever happened, once the collar was around my neck the option of ever leaving was gone for good. There would be no asking to be released. It would be a lifetime commitment. I would be his property, his slave, his forever.
I accepted all his terms. I knew exactly what I was doing. I became his slave and knew how things would work. Five years after we had been together, he put that collar around my neck. There is no leaving now. And just for those nay sayers….I CAN’T leave. This is my reality. This is how we live life. Why would ever want to leave though? I love my life with my Master. What we have is not something I would ever want to leave. I love who we are together.
There has been a lot of talk about internal enslavement lately on one of the sites I am on. And it got me to thinking about how that worked for us in the beginning. So, I thought I would share my thoughts on this.
When I first began talking to Master, it was like he knew how to talk to me. He learned all that he could about me and then used that knowledge to reel me in so to speak. He helped me though a very difficult time in life and he broke down walls that I needed to get rid of. It was a long process, but he didn’t mind. He slowly got my way of thinking in alignment with his. My thought process was changing and the way I did things was the way he wanted them done. It’s funny, because I never really realized that it happening. He did though.
When we moved in together it was hard for me to adapt to that, because I lived by myself for so long that I was accustomed to my way of life. That changed immediately. My life was now consumed with him. He was consumed also by making me into what he wanted me to be for him. I was always a work in progress. He was molding me and teaching me and guiding me. I was already his slave, but he was changing me for him so that he could own me, own everything about me. I learned that his choices and decisions were for my benefit. He knew what was right and what was wrong for me. It was a process, it still goes on til this day. I am at his will, I am aligned with his thoughts and what he needs from me. He wore me down and then built me up again. It’s all about his control and my obedience and making him happy. I am internally enslaved to him. It’s a wonderful place to be!
I love rainy days when Master is home and we can just have a day to ourselves inside. I love the time that this gives us. Yes, there are still every day things that have to be done, but it gives us more quality time together. I just love these kind of days.
More later today……
There is a lot of talk about who owns what in a M/s relationship. And, I would say that it depends on what was agreed upon when entering the relationship and how it was going to work. For me, I need the control from the person I am with. Master gives me that. Along with that control comes the owning of all possessions. Master owns everything in our relationship. In his eyes, property doesn’t own property. I gave everything over to him when I became his. Master controls the money, when I go to bed at night I ask him if I can get in his bed. The vehicle is in his name. I own nothing in our relationship and it works for us. And when Master collars me, I will wear his collar.
This is not to say that if I asked for a release tomorrow that I would walk out with nothing. It would be up to him, because this is what I agreed to in the beginning. But, he is not that heartless and would not let me leave with nothing. I know in my heart that I would leave with what I came into the relationship with. I know Master that well.
There is a discussion going on in Fetlife about who owns what. And I a lot of slaves say they own what is theirs and that there is no way that they would enter into a relationship and just hand everything over. That is great for them. It’s a matter of what the two people agree upon before the relationship starts. And what works for one may not work for all. Just don’t knock what works for us.
Master and I have legal documents in place to make sure that our wishes are carried out. He has legal proxy for everything in my life. If something should happen to me, he makes the decisions on my health and he has financial rights as to whom gets what. He knows what goes to my children and him. If something should happen to Master, I am taken care of. This gives us both peace of mind for the future.
I may use the word mine or my, but these are just words. It doesn’t really mean that what I am talking about is actually mine. Sometimes when I use those words, Master will look at me and say whose is it? But it is said in a very loving way.
I think this just goes to show how different each relationship is and what makes them unique. I love the way Master and I are together and I love how things work with us.
Sometimes you just need to clear the air. There has been something that has really been bothering me. And its a subject that Master just does not like to talk to talk about. In fact he gets down right mad when I try to talk to him about this. Well, I felt the need this morning to just have a heart to heart with him. I could not hold this in any longer. For the first time in a very long time we argued and he got very upset. I over stepped by bounds and told him I just wanted to out. That I could not go on like this any longer. We both started crying and he knows that he has been hurting me for a long time. Really since we have been together. I have been needing something from him, that he hasn’t been to give me. It’s not his fault, it’s really neither of our faults. It just is. We both realized that falling in love and letting each other get this attached was probably not a good thing. It felt good to clear the air. This has been stuck between us for nearly five years.
After we both had time to cool down and think about things, Master came to me and said that he wanted to try to make it right and that he did not want to be without me. I don’t want to be without him either, but I am not sure that trying is going to fix this. I guess time will tell. It just hurts and I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to be happy, I want to know what it feels like to be happy again. I love him with all that I am, so I have to see if he can make it right…for us.
I have been thinking today. It takes so much effort in any kind of relationship to keep it going. It takes respect and understanding from both people. In this lifestyle is it harder to keep the relationship going? If the submissive is showing all the respect and not getting any back, will it work? Is it worth the effort to keep it going?
I think when two people are thinking about entering into a relationship they need to think think about things that they both want. They need to make sure that are compatible in all areas. If you start a relationship and get deep into it then realize that you don’t fit together like you thought you did, it might be harder to end things than in the beginning or harder to end than starting at all.
Just because we are submissive’s or slave’s, doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be heard. We are human and we have feelings. Respect and trust matters to us just as much as it does to anyone else.
My best friend is going through a really tough time and she is hurting. I really want to do something to help her, but all I can do is be here for her. I support her in what ever she decides. I just wish her Master and husband could see what he is doing. He thinks because he is her Master that all else just goes his way. He doesn’t care about her feelings and he doesn’t care what she is going through. He just wants to see numerous of women and she has to be okay with it. Now they have a baby and he isn’t changing one bit, nor is he willing to give up any of his ways. I hurt for her. My life hasn’t been what I want it to be, but I have made a decision to live with the way it is for now. But, I can change that if I get to that point. It’s harder for her, she has a baby now and she feels so alone, even with her Master there. She has now asked for a release and he has granted it. I feel so sad. I know she will be just fine. She is a very strong woman and she has so many wonderful things about her. I just wish things were different.
Regardless, I love her and I will never leave her side!