Today on one of the sites I go on…a lot, someone asked the question about the term “doormat.” I come across this term very often on different sites. You will read, “I’m a submissive or slave, but I am not a doormat.”
The connotation of the word doormat just does not ring well in some people’s ears. But, when you break it down to it’s component parts it either sounds pretty good or it’s easier to accept. If you surrender everything without hesitation or question and you will do anything that you are told to do and you are someone’s property, then your are at doormat status(my opinion). If you reserve the right to pick and choose what you want to do or not to do or you negotiate, then you are far from that and probably don’t like the connotation of doormat. Then you might consider yourself a submissive and not a slave or property. And that’s just fine. Yes, I know…there are a lot of slaves that will say they do not like the term either….I am writing this for everyone that does and doesn’t like the term. I thought it was an interesting topic.
It took me a long time to get to this point. long ago, I think I would have taken offense to someone calling me a doormat, not now. I am Master’s slave & property. My place is at his feet. He encompasses my life and everything I do is for him. He controls every aspect of my life. I think that qualifies me for doormat status. To Master, I would probably be his welcome mat and at night his bath mat. (on a lighter note)
I am a very intelligent woman. I held a job for many years where I had several people working under me. Then I was a probation officer. I was a P2 and carried a gun and went to some very unpleasant places to track felons down. I am by no means a person someone else can push around. I am Master’s doormat, if you will. I submit and surrender only to him. So, to the outside world, I am not. Master does value everything about me and he loves the strong person that I am. I am very respected and loved by him. And that makes me feel very good inside. I like who I am. I am his slave, his property….and yes I am his doormat!
I have been thinking today. It takes so much effort in any kind of relationship to keep it going. It takes respect and understanding from both people. In this lifestyle is it harder to keep the relationship going? If the submissive is showing all the respect and not getting any back, will it work? Is it worth the effort to keep it going?
I think when two people are thinking about entering into a relationship they need to think think about things that they both want. They need to make sure that are compatible in all areas. If you start a relationship and get deep into it then realize that you don’t fit together like you thought you did, it might be harder to end things than in the beginning or harder to end than starting at all.
Just because we are submissive’s or slave’s, doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be heard. We are human and we have feelings. Respect and trust matters to us just as much as it does to anyone else.
My best friend is going through a really tough time and she is hurting. I really want to do something to help her, but all I can do is be here for her. I support her in what ever she decides. I just wish her Master and husband could see what he is doing. He thinks because he is her Master that all else just goes his way. He doesn’t care about her feelings and he doesn’t care what she is going through. He just wants to see numerous of women and she has to be okay with it. Now they have a baby and he isn’t changing one bit, nor is he willing to give up any of his ways. I hurt for her. My life hasn’t been what I want it to be, but I have made a decision to live with the way it is for now. But, I can change that if I get to that point. It’s harder for her, she has a baby now and she feels so alone, even with her Master there. She has now asked for a release and he has granted it. I feel so sad. I know she will be just fine. She is a very strong woman and she has so many wonderful things about her. I just wish things were different.
Regardless, I love her and I will never leave her side!
This morning Master ended up not having such a good morning. It just seemed like nothing he was trying to do work wise was working out and then some other things were going wrong. It was just one of those mornings. He went outside for awhile to clear his mind. When he came back in, he told me to meet him in the bedroom. I was quite confused. But, I did as I was told and I went to the bedroom. Once he got to the bedroom he looked at me and told me to lay across the bed and present him my ass. So…I did. He told me he needed to take out some frustration and he just needed me to lie there and take it. No moving around, no complaining, just serve him by saying thank you Master after each stroke. Now you have to realize that we haven’t played or done a scene in FOREVER and I have needed a release for a long time. So, I didn’t hesitate. Although, I did feel that I was serving him by just letting him do what he needed to do to. I will serve him in any way that he needs me to or wants me to. I am here to bring him peace. But, at the same time I am so smiling on the inside!
First came the belt for a warm up, then the dreaded cane. I loved every minute of it and did not want it to end. I hope I have made Master feel some what better or at least served him in a way that my devotion showed.
Last night was kind of nice. I gave Master a bath, if he has a bath at night its a ritual for us that I bath him. We talk about the day and maybe the things that need to be done the next day. He worked on his new web site that he is designing last night for a long time and there things about it that just aren’t working for him so he was a little frustrated. After his bath and he was in bed I knelt beside his bedside like I always do to give him his vow. When I was through reciting it, I was going to get up to come to bed. He asked where I was going, I then immediately said no where and he told me I should have asked to get up. I apologized and lowered my head. It felt like I was there on my knees forever…it had only been a minute or two. He then grabbed me by the back of my hair, raised me up some and forced my mouth down on his cock. I was filled with excitement. He wouldn’t let go and his cock kept pushing down the back of throat. I couldn’t breath, but I knew I couldn’t or shouldn’t say anything or try to anyway. I love having Master in my mouth, but it made me want him so badly. I just kept getting wetter and wetter with ever stroke. Master never really takes long to cum when I am sucking him, but this time he made me work for it, he went longer than I remember. I loved every minute of it. Finally with one last hair pu;; and shove to the back of my throat, he released his frustration out and I felt like I was going to gag because I couldn’t breath and I was trying to swallow at the same time. Then there it was, I had an orgasm without permission. My cum was running down my legs. When he finally let me up, he knew by the look on my face. All he said was that we would deal with this in the morning and for me to come to bed. I crawled in bed beside Master and curled up with him and we drifted off to sleep.
Every morning before he starts work, we have what he calls the preventative session. I lay across the bed, he takes the cane, which I hate and lets me know what my infractions were for the following day or if there was none, then he makes me recite his rules as he is caning me, so I will remember for that day. As much as I love pain and as much as I want Master to scene to with me, I do not like the cane at all. To me it’s not a pleasure-pain. It works though, I always remember his rules and I strive to be a better slave each day. I just wonder what this morning holds with last nights infraction. What ever it is, however hard it is, it will be worth it, because I haven’t had an orgasm in months! Now, its time to start my day…
We all know what the basic needs are, shelter, food, clothing,etc. And then there are wants that have nothing to do with needs. But, can wants actually be needs? I think in some instances they can be. If you know what you need out of a relationship and you are not getting it and you know that you need those certain things for the relationship to work and flourish, then to me that is “need.” When I look at my relationship with my Master, I know what things I need from him. I know what needs of mine need to be met in order for me to feel happy. Could I live without those things? Yes I could. But, I think that being happy in this life and feeling fulfilled is a need. If those needs aren’t met then you could become depressed over a period of time or the relationship could suffer greatly. Communication becomes key at this point. You need to be able to talk things over with your partner, Dom, or Master. If that doesn’t work, then you need to sit down and rethink the relationship. Are you going to be able to live this way? If not are you going to settle for less than what you really want?
If may be time to make some decisions as to where you go from here. We all deserve to be happy in this life. We all deserve to have what we want out of the relationship that we are in. And if you are not in a relationship, know what it is you want out of one before you get involved with someone. Make sure you communicate what it is you need before making a commitment. Never settle…your wants and needs are important. They make you who you are!