Dealing With Anger

I believe that Master and I have really good communication  skills. We are able to talk about a lot of things. We even have the occasional argument, sometimes even heated arguments. Then, I feel really bad about arguing with him or having words, because I am his slave and it’s not my place to fight and argue with him. And, I usually have to deal with the after shock. Meaning there are consequences for my actions. What got me to thinking about this was an incident that happened last night. My neighbor called the police on her husband last night. They had a heated argument over money and she called the police. There was no violence involved  just the argument. She didn’t like the way her husband was handling their money situation was all this was over. He had been giving money to their church every week and had kept it from her. Is that a reason to call the police? I think not.

If I had even dreamed about calling the police, our relationship would be over. If I told Master what he could or couldn’t do with his money then there would not be a dynamic between us. Does he ask me what I think about what he is going to spend it on sometimes, yes he does. But, the decision is all his. And I prefer it that way. But, I think we communicate very well. We don’t hide anything from each other and we have never felt the need to. I am very glad that we have the dynamic that we do. It makes things so much easier. 

The times that things have gotten overly heated with words, we know that we just need a little space and we each go do something. I may go to the bedroom and journal he may go outside to his shop. Then when we have cooled off we talk. 

How do you deal with anger in your relationship? Do you argue or fight? How do you deal with those kinds of feelings?

Wants vs. Needs… Can they both be the same?

We all know what the basic needs are, shelter, food, clothing,etc. And then there are wants that have nothing to do with needs. But, can wants actually be needs? I think in some instances they can be. If you know what you need out of a relationship and you are not getting it and you know that you need those certain things for the relationship to work and flourish, then to me that is “need.” When I look at my relationship with my Master, I know what things I need from him. I know what needs of mine need to be met in order for me to feel happy. Could I live without those things? Yes I could. But, I think that being happy in this life and feeling fulfilled is a need. If those needs aren’t met then you could become depressed over a period of time or the relationship could suffer greatly. Communication becomes key at this point. You need to be able to talk things over with your partner, Dom, or Master. If that doesn’t work, then you need to sit down and rethink the relationship. Are you going to be able to live this way? If not are you going to settle for less than what you really want?

If may be time to make some decisions as to where you go from here. We all deserve to be happy in this life. We all deserve to have what we want out of the relationship that we are in. And if you are not in a relationship, know what it is you want out of one before you get involved with someone. Make sure you communicate what it is you need before making a commitment. Never settle…your wants and needs are important. They make you who you are!